Sorry to be blue...

Well, yesterday marked one whole year since we lost our little Truman. It is so hard to believe it has been a year. We have lived in Austin for a year now as well. So much has changed, but some things are oddly the same. Jes is in the midst of starting a new job, same as this time last year. I am just a few weeks ahead in my pregnancy now then I was with Truman when he was born.

It is so strange to have buried one of you children. I use to drive past the cemetery in Utah where my brother is buried and think "there's Britton". Last time I was home I drove passed and had the same old thought, and then hurriedly remembered "and Truman too". It's not something I think about all the time anymore, so it was almost like I forgot for a minute. What a weird feeling driving past... It's hard to describe. Almost like a part of you is buried there. I talked to my Dad about this, and he seemed to have had the same feelings so I guess it's normal.

Like I said, I don't think about it all the time now like I use to, so I guess time does help heal some wounds. My Aunt Mary lost a baby at birth, and told me she still cries about it sometimes. That statement both gave me comfort and fear. I was glad to be told that it is okay that I am still sad about loosing my Son, but it scared me in that I don't want to be sad still in 25 years! I guess what she meant is you never really get over the loss. My Mom says that it gets easier with each year. I will hold on to that for now, and my faith that Truman was taken back to our Father in Heaven so soon because he didn't have need to be on the earth any longer then he was. I have stopped torturing myself with what if's, and decided to rely on the Lord's understanding. I am sure the pain wont ever go away completely, but I have faith it gets easier.

Thank you to everyone who has helped us through this difficult year. It has been made easier with all your support. Thank you especially to my Mom, who never once suggested it was harder to loose a Son at 9 years old then to have one still born. I know it had to have been a lot worse. But she always seems to know just what to say to make me feel better. Thanks Mom.

I am so glad Mason has some friends to play with! Ethan, Alivia and Mason had a blast in our backyard today! I love this picture with the ball up in the air!

They did so well with sharing! There wasn't any Livi and Ethan rode in the Jeep and Mason just followed them on foot! It was all fun and games, until Livi accidentally ran over Mason! He was fine, none of the kids seemed remotely phased by it!

laugh out loud!

No matter how hard I try I cannot get Mason to laugh like this! He will only do it for his Daddy! So cute!

Shoe shopping

I went to buy a new pair of shoes today with Mason in tow. As I looked down the row and picked a few to try on he kept brining me his own selection and asking "Mommy like this?". What a great shopper! Not only does he like to come with me but he makes suggestions too! I sat down to try a few pair on and when I looked up, he had taken off his shoes to try on this lovely pair of green and white polka dot rubber shoes! What taste!!!

I had a realization today. All those times growing when my parents tried to teach or tell me something and I was determined that I knew better then they, were they thinking what I was thinking today? were they thinking "it is so obviouse my way is better... but oh well. Let them learn the hard way".
Mason was trying to ride his bike... on the grass! I tried to tell him it would be easier on the cement, but he would have none of it! He was going to ride on the grass come hell or high water, even though he could barely move!

KIDS!!! Gotta love em!